I recently caught an article on BBC about venting and how research shows that it isn’t actually a helpful way to manage anger. I was surprise so I went on to explore the article further. It’s here for you if you want to check it out, also it includes a video which is very informative.
I almost only run when I’m angry. After reading this article, I likely won’t do much more running at all, since it’s not something that my body otherwise craves. You might also be wondering what this has to do with venting. As I learned, running is often a technique many of us use to manage our emotions, specifically anger. Because of it’s repudiative nature, solitude, and time spent, it often is a place for rumination, in other words, we have that whole run to be in our heads, thinking about our anger, or other emotions. Instead, research shows that ball sports, among other things, works much better.
Because this got me interested, I went on to find some other healthy ways to express emotion. This article from positive psychology highlights some every day ways we can express our anger without making ourselves feel worse.
Forgiveness is key when it comes to interpersonal relationship conflict and emotion. The National Institute for Health provides a large array of interesting articles on emotion. This one on forgiveness through mindfulness or meditation was particularly interesting to me. It reminded me of a meditation that I learned at the beginning of my time attending acupuncture school at OCOM in Portland Oregon. In the meditation, there is a focus on a visualization. This can be short or longer as needed depending on your emotion and time.
First, visualize yourself with a beautiful bouquet of flowers or if you prefer, holding a healthy, living, potted plant. If I am particularly upset, anger, etc with the person, I will even visualize myself gathering or otherwise obtaining this floral gift. Next, visualize the person whom you are in conflict with. Take as much time as you have to see their beautiful traits. Finally, once you are ready, visualize yourself kneeling down at their feet. When you are ready present or place your gift at their feet. When my emotion is particularly rooted, I will go on to visualize myself gently washing their feet, for many cultures, this is a deep showing of respect and love. After your meditation you may still have charged emotions toward the person or people. Repeat the exercise daily or a couple times per week until you are able to free yourself from the emotion and find forgiveness. Remember, forgiveness doesn’t mean that the person remains in your life. Perhaps they do but that is for you to decide. Forgiveness is freedom from emotion related to that conflict or other discomfort.